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🌅 India Rising
Whenever I reflect on the success of my current relationship, no one is more surprised by it than me.
The relationship was everything I wanted, but it just didn’t show up the way I thought it would.
Sure, he is attractive, smart, funny, and loving. But the start of our relationship was missing all the hallmarks of true love that Hollywood told me to look out for. We didn’t have the can’t-stop-thinking-about-you infatuation, nor did we want to spend every waking minute together. There were no extravagant romantic gestures or declarations of undying love.
At least back then. But all those things are true today.
As a serial monogamist my entire adult life, I had always looked for the instantaneous chemistry that I thought would be the cue to “The One.” And I had experienced it many times over. Each time, it was more deliciously blissful than the last.
But chemistry and lust were only ever the promise of love, never the sustainment of love itself — even when both parties deeply believed in it at the time.
And how could it be?
None of it was ever based on any real knowledge of the person or reinforced through actual actions. They were unstable illusions built on dopamine, oxytocin, desires, and promises. Because if we do not know the person, the only thing we could ever fall in love with is the idea of the person.
When one of us changed in a way that seemed insignificant at the time, the fantasy would dissolve, and along with it — the relationship. Sometimes, it took years for this to happen.
I came to the conclusion, as many of us do, that finding a relationship I could sustain and grow with was really hard. And it is.
The biggest difference between my current relationship and my past ones was that we didn’t find our connection. We built it — together. Day by day, moment by moment, through hard times and joyful ones.
JaiHind.. JaiBharat..
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