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Self-oriented or selfish individuals often navigate their relationships based on what they can gain from others rather than genuine affection or mutual respect. This behavior can be deeply confusing and hurtful for those who unknowingly become entangled in their webs of manipulation. These individuals are adept at presenting themselves as kind, considerate, and even caring, especially when they have a particular need or desire that someone else can fulfill. However, once their requirement is met, their true nature often emerges, leading to a drastic shift in behavior that can leave the other person feeling used, betrayed, and even vilified.
The Charade of Friendship
When a selfish person identifies someone who can provide them with something they want—be it emotional support, a professional favor, or even just attention—they can be incredibly charming. They may go out of their way to make the other person feel valued and important, cultivating an image of friendship or partnership. This phase of the relationship is where the selfish person is most invested, but not in the other person. Rather, they are invested in what they can extract from the relationship.
During this period, the selfish individual might shower their target with compliments, spend a lot of time with them, and make them feel like they are special. The target, who often believes in the sincerity of these gestures, begins to see the selfish person as a true friend or a reliable companion. This is where the selfish person excels—they understand how to make others feel good, which in turn makes those people more willing to help them achieve their goals.
The Shift in Behavior
Once the selfish person has obtained what they wanted—whether it's assistance in a personal matter, a professional favor, or simply the satisfaction of their ego—their behavior often changes abruptly. This shift can manifest in various ways: they may become distant, stop returning calls or messages, or even begin to criticize or undermine the person who was once their 'friend.'
This change is confusing and hurtful because it contradicts the positive interactions that came before. The person who was used is left wondering what they did wrong, why the relationship soured so quickly, and how someone who seemed so kind could turn so cold. However, the reality is that they did nothing wrong; they were simply no longer useful to the selfish person.
The Role of Manipulation
A key element in the behavior of selfish individuals is manipulation. They are skilled at reading others and understanding their needs and desires, which they then use to their advantage. This manipulation is not always overt; it can be subtle and insidious, making it difficult for the other person to recognize until it's too late.
For example, a selfish person might play on someone’s insecurities or desires, offering validation and support that seems genuine. However, this is a calculated move designed to keep the other person close until their usefulness has run out. Once the selfish person no longer needs the relationship, they may withdraw that validation and support, leaving the other person feeling abandoned and questioning their own worth.
The Aftermath
After a selfish person has accomplished their goals, the relationship is often discarded. What’s more, the selfish individual may not hesitate to turn the former friend into an enemy if it suits their purposes. They might spread rumors, criticize the person behind their back, or even confront them openly with blame or accusations. This behavior serves to deflect any potential backlash and to solidify the selfish person's sense of superiority or control.
For the person who has been used, this experience can be deeply disorienting and painful. They may struggle with feelings of anger, betrayal, and self-doubt. It can be challenging to reconcile the positive experiences they had with the selfish person with the hurtful way things ended. Trust issues often arise, making it difficult for them to form new relationships.
Conclusion
Understanding the behavior of self-oriented or selfish individuals can help mitigate the emotional damage they cause. Recognizing the signs of manipulative behavior early on, setting boundaries, and maintaining a sense of self-worth can protect one from becoming entangled in these unhealthy relationships. While it’s natural to feel hurt by such experiences, it’s crucial to remember that the fault lies not with the person who was used, but with the selfish individual who exploited the relationship for their gain.
Exactly around 6 times I had same experience in last two years.
JaiHind.. 🇮🇳 JaiBharat..
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