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🌅 India Rising
I’m not going to lie to you — we need a whole lot of advice to make our relationships work
Today, we’re ditching the “cook for her” and “wear sexy lingerie” advice; instead, we’re focusing on what could keep a relationship alive and healthy.
Let me start by asking you this: how many times do we find ourselves blaming our partner?
How many times do we storm out?
How many times do we have little tolerance for our partner’s behavior?
How many times do we get upset, yell, judge, or shame our partner?
A. F*cking. Lot.
In psychology, this is called “projection.” When we blame, get upset, or judge, we project our feelings on our partner based on our past experiences or hurts that we hide inside. In other words, we move our internal problem into an external source.
Projection is something we all unconsciously do to some degree in our relationships. Why? Because most of our romantic relationships will trigger us. Unlike what we think, relationships aren’t supposed to bring us everlasting happiness every single minute of the day.
Relationships are overwhelming and vulnerable. Someone who was a complete stranger in the past now knows everything about us. So expect to get upset, expect some lows, expect fears, resentment, and trust issues to come to the surface. No matter how much inner work we do in our relationships, our partner will almost always bring out a dormant psychological issue we had no idea we had.
And hey, don’t forget that we all come with enormous emotional baggage. We meet this someone and they see how good looking, funny, and smart we are, but they don’t see the past we’ve been carrying around on our shoulders. They don’t see the traumas, childhood wounds, and patterns we’ve been hiding. So it’s only normal for this past to sneak in and talk through our reactions.
And our reactions can be big. They can hurt. They can sting.
Most of these reactions hold projection at their core. For example, if we’re angry with our partner, we blame them or use their actions to justify our feelings of rage.
JaiHind... JaiBharat....
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